My second poem. Slightly tougher to come up with given that I had imposed some restrictions on myself in terms of overall randomness. But, nevertheless still retains a certain element of entropy. Um… Flying Cannibals turn you on? Er.. good for you..?
This is the story of a man in a box
Of how he escaped near death from a flying fox
Ran for his life a few blocks only wearing socks
Then entered the Slimy Oyster for some whiskey on the rocks
But sadly, had so much that he had to detox
This is the tale of Arnequin
A brave warrior similar to Huckleberry Finn
Born and brought up in the noisy suburbs of Berlin
His weapon of choice… was the safety pin
People chided him for having a saddle point for a chin
But, over time he had grown a thick skin
And learnt that life was like a bowling pin
You get knocked over real soon if you did not learn to take humour on the chin
The day he was born, the flying spiders and the singing ducks went extinct
While his parents did not think that all this was interlinked
All Arnequin had to do was blink
That was when his observant cousin realized that Arnie was special
And he explained all this to Arnie’s parents 4 years later in a nutshell
They decided that little Arnie would be trained in the subtle arts
But all he wanted to do was stare at his private parts
He seemed genuinely surprised about something deep down in his two hearts
And always knew he could come only in fits and starts
He left home at the age of thirteen
All inspired by the X-Men character, the Wolverine
He thought he could rule the world with just his faithful lance
But he lost it all in a deadly dance
With the bald jester in a game of chance
The jester took pity on Arnequin
And gave him a safety pin
Little did he know that this was all Arnie needed to win
As Arnie slashed his way through hundreds of his next of kin
All he could think of was “Why does Glucon play the violin?”
So he continued on his journey of destruction
And along the way learnt the theory of mathematical induction
Even in lands far far away, he needed no introduction
His very name was enough for citizens to frantically engage in sexual reproduction
Sadly, with fame came great danger to his life
Attempts were made to kill him with a surgical knife
by various children, even his own wife
He somehow escaped all the attention and ran away
At least he thought so until he got hit by a gamma ray
He got a glimpse of the face which hit him just as he fell – it was like an action replay
Alas, greed had poisoned the jester, he decided that he had to finish the machine he had inadvertently created without further delay
Next thing he knew he was in a box
“Aargh!”, Arnie thought to himself as he realized that there was one person he could not outfox
He was stuck there for what seemed like a decade
His clothes all frayed
One fine day he realized “Aah! This is the day I get to finally use my grenade!”
But sadly realized that in the time he had taken to realize this, it had already decayed
He thought to himself “Was I just a charade?”
All the thoughts of self doubt he tried to dissuade
Sadly, in the madness that followed he ate all his clothes with the exception of his socks
And suddenly he knew how to get out of the stupid box
His earliest talent would be put to good use now
All he had to do was concentrate and spit like a randy cow
Almost immediately, he succeeded… and how!
If he had been caught in the act, people could have only gone “Wowww!!!”
As he nervously walked around, he realized he was in a big jungle, or was it?
He could hear all sorts of noises, from the roar of what seemed to be a giraffe to the hungry growls of deers eating off that last lion bit
Suddenly, from the trees flew a fox at his head
As they made eye contact, a lot of things were understood unsaid
Arnequin instinctively reached out for his safety pin only to realize that he was as naked as Satan in his usual red
And this is where the story ends.
Arnequin died that night in the forest at the hands of his flying predator
No he did not have his whiskey on the rocks or anything else for that matter
That was just me trying to be all nice to his memory
His remains were eaten by a giant alligator
And to this day, the jester still boasted to people that it was him who had slain Arnequin the mad hatter
Filed under: Vague MFaKR
