Comunio Tales – The story of Alexis Sanchez

I was reading some of my older posts a few days back and it evoked so much nostalgia and I realized that I had forgotten so many of the smaller incidents. After a good hour of laughing my ass off on the Wolf post, the Walrus-Shreesh post and also on Shreesh’s post on Lottery Danny love life, I realized what an important outlet this blog had been over the years and how I should put up these funny incidents because lets face it, no one is going to remember tiny details 3-4 years down the line.

And that brings us to the post itself. Last year, I discovered an awesome website for Fantasy Football – Comunio (I will have an open call once this season ends so that potential new players can join the league). This was a fantasy league quite unlike any of the others that I had ever played. I gathered a group of close friends and we started playing. Needless to say, almost everyone loved the concept and we started playing in earnest. This post here is the story of the epic bid war we had last October to determine who would get Alexis Sanchez, the Arsenal dynamo.

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So guys, brace yourself. This is bigger and better than any insti election ever was. This is the story of how an independent candidate bid and got Alexis “King of Bid Wars” Sanchez.

The story started with the following candidates:

1) Deepu: He was the guy who was definitely standing for culsec but then got a definite coreship and hence packed (Read, he got Harry Kane on the day before Sanchez came, so didn’t go for Sanchez)

2) Ameya: Hype master. Kept throwing himself into the race to heighten chances of a bid war but then silently sat and watched all the fun

3) Bhavin: Decided that culsec wasn’t for him and true to his word, stayed out of the entire race

4) Naman: Got tempted by offers of coreships and decided to wait and watch what happens (Read, Ozil, Mata and co were the main targets for our man)

5) Meow: The most obvious candidate from Day 1. Everyone realized he wanted Sanchez so bad, he would sell his mom and then some more

6) Bhadwae: Was unsure of overbidding till the very end as it would fuck his team up so he went around telling people that if they bid, he would peace out.

7) Axis: Sat in a corner of a room and put ganja. No one gave a fuck about him.

8) Tiru: Couldn’t afford Sanchez‘s left shoe lace but still tried to get involved in the election. It was like the desp motherfucker who needed a volship somehow later on.

9) Baingan: Was more worried about his current crop of strikers and decided to play it safe.

10) Diggy, Spike and Haseena: Peaced out and saw the action unfold

The way things panned out, it looked like NO one was going for Sanchez. Finally, on Wednesday 1:00PM CET, the pack was down to Bhadwae and Meow. Everyone else had seemingly backed out. The two candidates met at Taramani Tea stall to discuss their candidature
Meow: Dude, I’m not going for Sanchez, I got fucked.
Bhadwae: What? Don’t gen joke around, I’m not believing you
Meow: Yeah dude, I am not. I declined comp offer for Mata because Axis bid higher and before I could accept that, Axis withdrew his offer, so now it’s near imposs for me to bid
Bhadwae: WTF why did Axis do that?
Meow: No clue, but lite. This is too much fight, so I am out. I will stabilise team

That left Bhadwae in the driver’s seat. No one bidding for a player he wasn’t keen on overbidding for? Perfect! He anyway told Baingan that if at all he wanted to go in for Sanchez, he should because he would get it for cheap. Baingan decided that it was not his cup of tea. He then pinged Meow to say the same thing saying that he was unan, so if Meow really wanted to, this was the time. Meow said he was definitely not going. So that left Bhadwae with the option of bidding MV for the player and getting him. Happy and satisfied, Bhadwae went to sleep dreaming of his latest acquisition.

He woke up and sees messages congratulating Axis. WTF happened. DID FUCKING GANJA SMOKING PEACE PUTTING AXIS JUST TRICK THE WHOLE WORLD?

Behind the Scenes, What Actually Happened:

Axis, seeing that Meow had put Mata up for sale, decided to bid for Mata. Then at some point, the ganja hit and he realized that Sanchez was N better, so why not go for the big one. And he ended up cancelling the offer and thus Meow’s chances.

Meow, however, was not satisfied. He called in his minion, Tiru and made a deal with him.

Meow: Tiru, want volship? I need your votebank

Tiru: Sure Meow, but what volship and all, lite theesko, I’ll help you for free

Meow: <Holy shit this guy is dumber than I thought, peace> Okay set. We have a deal

Skrtel exchanged hands for 10M with a return sale clause of 10M and Meow decided to implement his TrickBhadwae plan into action. He bid 29.5 for Sanchez and told Bhadwae he wasn’t going at all. Then Bhadwae told him about the fact that he wasn’t as enthu plus he was alone so would bid low. Meow decides at this point to change his bid to 27.5.

Axis meanwhile silently and happily smokes some ganja and bids 29.1. Bhadwae gets screwed and Meow gets even more screwed given his elaborate plans. Obviously, Tiru doesn’t get jack shit in this whole arrangement, but hey, who gives a fuck.

End result: Community is happy!😀 (Except Meow, he wants to “sli kill Axis in life”)
As Meow said,”All of us thought Axis was the Doctor in the Mafia game but he ended up being the fucking Godfather!”
And as Naman put it aptly, “There was indeed no better way for Sanchez to be sold”.

Lost In Transition

September madness will soon descend upon me. A grant proposal to submit, experiments to finish for said grant proposal, moving labs, obtaining working permissions, moving out of my old home, moving into my new home, custom designing and buying furniture for my new home, getting used to a new city and new lab, taking charge and organizing the new lab, welcoming my parents here and then finally a much needed break which I am looking forward to. And if possible, continue my already running projects.

Oh and I haven’t even mentioned the months leading up to September. The World Cup win was probably the last time I felt I was relaxing. Then began the tedious job of house searching. After applying to over 70 places, talking to over 20 tenants/owners and viewing over 10 places, I was finally lucky and got the house I wanted. Traveling 3 hours every day to a different city just to search for houses and having to converse in German for the entire duration got me to the point of exhaustion where I would’ve taken any house I could. Indeed, I lowered my expectations from a minimum of 50m2, 2 rooms to even a 30m2 1 room place. Ah well. I have a big place now!😀 Finally, no more living in single rooms where the bedroom is a feet away from the kitchen which in turn is a feet away from the bathroom. All the plans I’ve been making for years can finally be put into action. As Jesse would say, “Yeah, Independence bitch!”

Oh and special mention to the game that is Dota2. The only time I feel I can really indulge myself and not think about work and responsibility. Though I’ve definitely not forgotten football and the much needed stability in life in 2014 which I finally did find.

And once I’m back after my break, time to knuckle down and take focus to a whole new level. New city, new lab, new colleagues and a new life. Maybe explore new sides of MFaKR too. It started off as randomness, then moved into football, then sport, back to randomness and finally I made it an outlet for poems I wrote. Though the Kayanaat book has now become my regular outlet. Data transfer? Maybe.

But first, back to September. It’s going to be a crazy ride!

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas-fun

Not one of my 10 minute ones but a different avenue I’ve steered myself into. An element of control whilst allowing the mind sufficient freedom to explore.

There’s nothing here for you to see

The ground has swallowed what was mine

Left behind nothing but a speck of a better man

Now I walk about

Wondering

Is this freedom or is this the lost relic of time

Rearing its ugly head once more

Laughing at the profligacy which has become our forte

 

There’s a storm brewing

As servitude walks all over

Good will mistaken for inadequacy

Straight face for cliches

Where does the world crawl?

Suffocated by the dilemma

Tortured

A wreck

 

But wait, this is not the same

The old man has the answers

He will prevail long after you’re gone

The fortuitous have forsaken their claim

We wear new cloaks

Hoping that we don’t forget what was

And looking forward to what will be.

 

Come with us

The mystery of the masked men, we shall reveal

We’ll give you life

Where there’s nought but a strand of grass

Will you hold my hand?

Or will I walk on lost into the depths of the murky past?

Red between the lines

Don’t close your eyes, something beautiful is still alive. Never turn away and let it die. This is not the end. This is not the end. If only I had found the way to tell you all the things you should’ve known, that you were lost right from the start. One day you will see what you’ve done, the world you chose to bleed will be dead and gone. When everything is said and done, you will find that it’s too late. Don’t let this moment slip away. Now more than ever, all we need is some love to replace all the obscene. When I close my eyes, I dream that we are colourblind. You have so much to give, won’t you live a little more? One thing I know for certain, we cannot have all we want. There’ll come a time when you look back and regret when it’s gone.

But the fortress caving in comes down on me tonight.

 

A story of hope, anger, betrayal and support. v1.0.

 

Breath

Breath –> Phobia

 

I see nothing in your eyes
And the more I see the less I like
Is it over yet?
In my head

I know nothing of your kind
And I won’t reveal your evil mind
Is it over yet?
I can’t wait

So sacrifice yourself and let me have what’s left
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes
I’m going all the way, get away, please

You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You gotta fight just to make it through
‘Cause I will be the death of you

This will be all over soon
Pour salt into the open wound
Is it over yet?
Let me in

So sacrifice yourself and let me have what’s left
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes
I’m going all the way, get away, please

You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You gotta fight just to make it through
‘Cause I will be the death of you

Take, take, take

I’m waiting, I’m fading
Realize, start hiding

You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You gotta fight just to make it through
‘Cause I will be the death of you

Cryptic Panorama

Another 10 minuter. Not a part of the previous set of 3 of which I published one on this blog. I settled on the first title which came to mind. That’s all there is to it.

This ride is for the jack horses

You ain’t invited unless you’re a sea tortoise

My life is for all the forces

This is the way that everything’s gonna play

 

Take me to your band, she said

Cry your tears of joy instead

This is the world of the human beds

This way or that way, you’re taking the path of the chosen

 

The night came uninvited

Impolite and curt

And expected that I treat it to some dessert

I had better plans though

 

As I broke out into a cacophonic melody

I was joined by the musketeers, yes those three

It takes two to tango

But I was too lost and fell face first in the snow

 

Time to add a dash of pep

Dance around merrily and in step

Take my hand in yours

And slip away like Houdini on a tour

 

I forget my true intentions

Much like a man with a bullet proof vest

Was it to call somebody?

Don’t look at me, I’m all at sea enjoying the test

 

The Infinite Rainbow

You never know when you’re struck by flashes of inspiration. But when it does happen to me, I enjoy the ride. The past week saw me in a strangely poetic mood and I quickly created 3 poems. The one below is the 2nd one. I tried sticking to my 10 minute rule, but I think only the one below was written in less than 10. It took me 10 more to think of a title:-/

 

Because I am the one waiting

For you at the end of the rainbow

Hey girl, whatsup?

I’ve waited for this window all my life

Could’ve sworn I’d lost my tea cup

When all I needed was that butcher’s knife.

 

As dragons roam the sky in search of their next meal

I look to the heavens as if to say,

When will this circle of life turn the wheel?

When will be it my turn to go astray?

Why?

Because I am the one waiting

For you at the end of the rainbow

 

I sit down to have a cup of coffee

Torn between my loyalties

Do I stay or do I flee?

Oh, I could decide, if only I had the keys

To the heart of my lovely leprechaun

The bloody imp

Had a magic wand, I could’ve sworn

But who was I, but a poor disheartened pimp

All I knew was

I would be waiting

For you at the end of the rainbow

 

I wish I could colour it blue and red

With a tiny heart in the middle

Then again, everyone I knew and cared for was dead

All I was left with was a question to fiddle

Why was I considered a myth?

Was I so hard to locate?

I always thought I was easy to get along with

Thinking. Multiplies your troubles by eight

And we’re back to where we started off

So I make my patient vow

I’ll be waiting here for you,

The treasure chest at the end of the rainbow