I was reading some of my older posts a few days back and it evoked so much nostalgia and I realized that I had forgotten so many of the smaller incidents. After a good hour of laughing my ass off on the Wolf post, the Walrus-Shreesh post and also on Shreesh’s post on Lottery Danny love life, I realized what an important outlet this blog had been over the years and how I should put up these funny incidents because lets face it, no one is going to remember tiny details 3-4 years down the line.
And that brings us to the post itself. Last year, I discovered an awesome website for Fantasy Football – Comunio (I will have an open call once this season ends so that potential new players can join the league). This was a fantasy league quite unlike any of the others that I had ever played. I gathered a group of close friends and we started playing. Needless to say, almost everyone loved the concept and we started playing in earnest. This post here is the story of the epic bid war we had last October to determine who would get Alexis Sanchez, the Arsenal dynamo.
So guys, brace yourself. This is bigger and better than any insti election ever was. This is the story of how an independent candidate bid and got Alexis “King of Bid Wars” Sanchez.
The story started with the following candidates:
1) Deepu: He was the guy who was definitely standing for culsec but then got a definite coreship and hence packed (Read, he got Harry Kane on the day before Sanchez came, so didn’t go for Sanchez)
2) Ameya: Hype master. Kept throwing himself into the race to heighten chances of a bid war but then silently sat and watched all the fun
3) Bhavin: Decided that culsec wasn’t for him and true to his word, stayed out of the entire race
4) Naman: Got tempted by offers of coreships and decided to wait and watch what happens (Read, Ozil, Mata and co were the main targets for our man)
5) Meow: The most obvious candidate from Day 1. Everyone realized he wanted Sanchez so bad, he would sell his mom and then some more
6) Bhadwae: Was unsure of overbidding till the very end as it would fuck his team up so he went around telling people that if they bid, he would peace out.
7) Axis: Sat in a corner of a room and put ganja. No one gave a fuck about him.
8) Tiru: Couldn’t afford Sanchez‘s left shoe lace but still tried to get involved in the election. It was like the desp motherfucker who needed a volship somehow later on.
10) Diggy, Spike and Haseena: Peaced out and saw the action unfold
The way things panned out, it looked like NO one was going for Sanchez. Finally, on Wednesday 1:00PM CET, the pack was down to Bhadwae and Meow. Everyone else had seemingly backed out. The two candidates met at Taramani Tea stall to discuss their candidature
Meow: Dude, I’m not going for Sanchez, I got fucked.
Bhadwae: What? Don’t gen joke around, I’m not believing you
Meow: Yeah dude, I am not. I declined comp offer for Mata because Axis bid higher and before I could accept that, Axis withdrew his offer, so now it’s near imposs for me to bid
Bhadwae: WTF why did Axis do that?
Meow: No clue, but lite. This is too much fight, so I am out. I will stabilise team
That left Bhadwae in the driver’s seat. No one bidding for a player he wasn’t keen on overbidding for? Perfect! He anyway told Baingan that if at all he wanted to go in for Sanchez, he should because he would get it for cheap. Baingan decided that it was not his cup of tea. He then pinged Meow to say the same thing saying that he was unan, so if Meow really wanted to, this was the time. Meow said he was definitely not going. So that left Bhadwae with the option of bidding MV for the player and getting him. Happy and satisfied, Bhadwae went to sleep dreaming of his latest acquisition.
He woke up and sees messages congratulating Axis. WTF happened. DID FUCKING GANJA SMOKING PEACE PUTTING AXIS JUST TRICK THE WHOLE WORLD?
Behind the Scenes, What Actually Happened:
Axis, seeing that Meow had put Mata up for sale, decided to bid for Mata. Then at some point, the ganja hit and he realized that Sanchez was N better, so why not go for the big one. And he ended up cancelling the offer and thus Meow’s chances.
Meow, however, was not satisfied. He called in his minion, Tiru and made a deal with him.
Meow: Tiru, want volship? I need your votebank
Tiru: Sure Meow, but what volship and all, lite theesko, I’ll help you for free
Meow: <Holy shit this guy is dumber than I thought, peace> Okay set. We have a deal
Skrtel exchanged hands for 10M with a return sale clause of 10M and Meow decided to implement his TrickBhadwae plan into action. He bid 29.5 for Sanchez and told Bhadwae he wasn’t going at all. Then Bhadwae told him about the fact that he wasn’t as enthu plus he was alone so would bid low. Meow decides at this point to change his bid to 27.5.
Axis meanwhile silently and happily smokes some ganja and bids 29.1. Bhadwae gets screwed and Meow gets even more screwed given his elaborate plans. Obviously, Tiru doesn’t get jack shit in this whole arrangement, but hey, who gives a fuck.